We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I want to make a zoo with you.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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