I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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