Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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