it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
