i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
