the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
