hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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