I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
