She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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