Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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