come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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