oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
