ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize