Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
