You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
