HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
