And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
