thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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