We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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