i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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