My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
