This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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