I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Randomize
