last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
