And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
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