how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
