If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
