We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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