No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
