So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
