Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
