addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just googled if crying burns calories
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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