this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
