I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
