:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
