is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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