i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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