New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
