Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize