don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
