it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
