:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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