I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
