If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
