I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
