I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize