She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
