yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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