return my video game
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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