Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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