My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
