Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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