I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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