His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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