So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
