with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
