this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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