1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
