I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize