i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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