Do you still have your period?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
