bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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