Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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