No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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